Elisa’s experience as a participant in the 2024 Let Her Lead Program
For 10 months, I had the great honor of participating in the 2024 Cohort for the Let Her Lead Program. This blog post celebrates the program and shares what I learned and how I grew as a result of the experience. Please enjoy!
The Coaching Session
January 2025.
I was nervous, standing there in a small office, wishing for the moment to be over.
My voice trembled. I stumbled through the words I had scrawled out on a dozen index cards.
My mind was racing. Did I do ok? Was it terrible? Was I vulnerable enough? Was I steady enough? Should I throw all this away and start over? This is not going well.
Please tell me I’m doing ok.
Usually, I can be pretty cool under pressure, but when it came to sharing something close to my heart, something as vulnerable and important as my legacy story, I felt out of my depth.
After 7 minutes of talking, my neck and chest broke out in a splotchy, red rash.
I waited for feedback from a professional speech coach, and the program director.
Yes, that was good!
A wave of relief, yet somehow I couldn’t really believe it.
Just a few tweaks, highlighting the strong points, and oh yeah, make sure it all fits onto a single notecard.
(from L to R) Martha Weeks, Elisa Trentham, and Catherine Porth
The Backstory
In February 2023, I signed up to attend the “Let Her Lead” program’s inaugural “Legacy” event.
At the time, I had spent years trying to build and launch a video service called “legacy videos” for families, which had gotten 0 traction in the market and had me on the brink of giving up.
I was desperate for a sign and hoped that legacy was something others actually cared about.
So when I saw that Catherine Porth, founder of Let Her Speak, was hosting a LEGACY event for WOMEN, I made sure I had a seat in the room.
My heart had so longed for a space to feel seen and heard, and this platform for women blew my mind.
The event itself was incredible.
The way Catherine structured the space and time, in the Knoxville Museum of Art, with delicious food and drinks and colorful flowers showed care, color, and fun.
The way her program prepared the women to share their stories on stage with confidence and authenticity proved the effectiveness of her program.
The way I felt inspired hearing from women with such different perspectives from my own, yet also felt so strongly connected to each one changed my life.
We stood to applaud the final speaker, and I knew I wanted to be connected with this program somehow, and applied as soon as I could.
The Program
When I found out that I was accepted into this program, I was amazed and so grateful! I couldn’t wait to dive into all the experiences and learning that Catherine had planned for us. I wanted to show up and glow up!
We each received a binder with stickers, beautifully printed curriculum, and supplies.
Here is one of the dividers - doesn’t it get you HYPED and also relaxed at the same time? We can do this!
Our cohort of 12 women was divided into 2 groups of 6 - aspiring leaders and established leaders.
I was in the aspiring leader track, which focused on confidence development and independence.
We met for 12 sessions from September through February (about every other week). Each meeting lasted 2.5 hours, and I’m very thankful for my husband for keeping the kids and running things at home while I was gone.
The first week, we received a binder filled with beautiful graphic design, program curriculum, tabs, stickers, notepads, and pens to take notes. During this first session, we wrote postcards to our future selves, illustrated name plates, and played some games.
The following sessions were structured like this: prep-work, meeting, and follow-up journaling prompts and continued education.
I enjoyed the prep work. Usually, it was interesting and not too time or brain-intensive, like watching a professional development video on YouTube, taking an assessment, posting on the group chat, or writing a haiku!
Most of the sessions were held at the UT IAAM HQ. At each meeting, we discussed the material in the curriculum, and the format was pretty open for those who wanted to share.
Catherine also brought in several guests to speak with us at the sessions - Councilwoman Seema Singh, Professional speech coach Martha Weeks, financial advisor Deahna Joi, and a group of influential women for a panel discussion event, including Booth Andrews, Erika Biddix, and Jasmine Newton.
A few of the sessions were structured “field trips” where we connected with each other in a different environment - by making terrariums, and acting out some games, etc.
To stay connected between sessions, Catherine set us up on a digital platform to share curriculum, discussion feed, and additional resources with us.
Catherine invited us to exclusive networking events happening during the program, to expand our networks, and Caitlin Bolden generously offered us complimentary tickets to the Opera!
Finally, Catherine facilitated professional photoshoots for us, and left the concept open to interpretation.
What sort of image (not your traditional headshot) would represent how I want to see myself, and my legacy?
I worked with Kara Hudgens to dream up a photoshoot that reflected my passion for film, my love for all things vintage/Hollywood, and desire to see stories shared and celebrated. Courtney at the Bijou Theater graciously allowed us to use their facility for the photoshoot, and had a staff member appointed to us to help design lighting and haze for the photo.
Photo by Kara Hudgens, Hair and Makeup by JB Beauty
I’m so happy with the results, and know these images are a special part of my legacy now.
All of these things combined made me feel absolutely showered in support and the environment to grow.
The Challenges
Participating in this program was incredible in so many ways, and also challenging for me in ways that I had never expected.
I learned about challenges in our communities that I hadn’t known before. I heard the other women’s stories and the challenges they had overcome. I heard perspectives that were very different from my own.
I wasn’t used to being in rooms with such different lived experiences. The topics we discussed were personal, and vulnerable - from our identities to finance to public speaking to the definition of success.
I was constantly searching for context to try to understand what others were saying, and knowing how to share my own story.
How could I contribute to the conversation when I haven’t been through teen pregnancy, violence, cancer, or prejudice?
Some days, it felt easier to disqualify myself than to speak up.
That thought that tried to make me feel invalid? It wasn’t coming from those women.
It was coming from me.
The Breakthrough
I needed a different mindset to be able to continue to engage in this program, and to connect with these women like I had connected with the women at the Legacy event earlier that year.
I had a few more meetings ahead of me, and a legacy talk to give.
Sitting across from my program mentor, Victoria Frankel, she asked me a series of questions to prepare me for my legacy talk.
She didn’t hold back. And as she asked hard questions, she held space for me.
I realized that every way that I had been measuring myself and my success depended on external validation which says, “I’m only good enough if you say I’m good enough.”
I realized then that for most of my life, that’s how I measured my worth.
If others tell me what I’m doing is good, hire me, or give me an award - then I’ll know for sure that I’m successful.
I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I was afraid of getting up there on that stage, only to have an audience who didn’t respond well to what I shared. Who didn’t praise me enough, or respond with applause and generous offers of friendship or career opportunities.
She encouraged me to find validation within myself - that I can be a safe place for myself, that I am not perfect but still worth fighting for, and that I’m willing to reenvision what success looks like for my life.
My definition of success did change. The next week, I went back into that room of women and shared honestly, without worrying quite as much about finding my context.
“Success looks like being faithful every day with what’s in front of me.”
I felt proud of myself for having the courage to share, and checked myself not to judge what I had said based on others’ validation.
When I wasn’t as worried about what they thought of me, it was a lot easier to actually see and hear them too.
This was a helpful start, but I felt something was still missing.
Through all this, somehow, my faith in Jesus had been set aside. I had been deceived into thinking that somehow, although He had opened the doors for me to be in this program, I needed to prove myself without Him.
A close friend reminded me that the validation I longed for, I already had. She reminded me that Jesus paid for all my sins, that He gave me His righteousness, and loves me perfectly.
I’m still learning to accept and receive this love. Part of me still wants to do something myself in order to earn it. But the fruit of my own striving has never been enough, and has left me depressed and hopeless.
Settling in my own heart that no matter what happened on the stage, I was fully loved, accepted, and a woman of great worth in Christ - that was my mission.
The Talk
The program was winding up, and it was time for our group to gather and speak at the Knoxville Museum of Art.
I had the professional speech coaching session under my belt. I had the perfect dress with the help of Brianna Lamberson. And I fit all my notes onto a single index card.
The room was beautiful, just like the year before.
Colorful flowers and delicious food and thoughtful gifts filled each table.
This time, I would be one of the women speaking.
Despite my doubts, I did get to share my story in a room full of women who wanted me to succeed.
Epilogue
I am so thankful for the opportunity to participate in the Let Her Lead program. I’ve experienced for myself the slogan “where every woman has a voice.” If I could go back in time, I would absolutely do it again.
I have great hope for the City of Knoxville as we continue to raise leaders to desire to share our stories, create space for vulnerability, and to lift each other up.
I’m still learning what it looks like to run a business without relying on external validation from colleagues and clients, and to walk in the favor and wisdom and value that God has given me.
I’m excited for my next steps, and staying connected with the other women I’ve met through this program.
If you're interested in joining the Let Her Lead program, you can learn more HERE.
If you don’t know us already, let me introduce the 2024 Let Her Lead Cohort:
Photo by Smoke Signal Photography
(from L to R) Chania Arnold (Girl Talk, INC), Latonya Clark (YWCA Knoxville and the TN Valley), Eva Kyle (The Muse Knoxville), Leslie Smith (ORNL), Jessica Carr (Girls Gotta Eat Good Asian Bakery), Lorena Meza Hubbard (WYCA Knoxville and the TN Valley), Caitlin Bolden (Knoxville Opera), Elisa Trentham (Sherwood Media), Kryshonna Fair (Urz Professional), Orel Brodt (Alliance Sotheby’s International Realty), Maddie Puckett (Fidelity Investments), not pictured: Kristy DuBose (Koinonia Foundation)
